In a far corner of the World…


At some point in the past milennium (I could be more precise, but why?), a bunch of Dutch pirates landed on a little triangular island at the bottom of the world. They called this island Van Diemen’s Land. After discovering land at the bottom of the Earth, they freaked out (because there be Dragons and Jason Donovan!), and headed back to their home shores, sending their prisoners there as punishment…Now, these Dutch dudes were basically like the Indian government. They found their little island, and were content with what they knew.

Then one day a dude by the name of Cook, Captain Cook (who likes his brine salty, and his crew scurvy-free) stumbled onto another piece of land. This piece of land actually turned out to be quite big. As big as America in fact. It even had it’s own Bush, only its Bush wasn’t named George, and it couldn’t speak bad English, because it wasn’t human. So after bonking the natives, and then getting killed, Cook was awarded the honour of having discovered the great landmass to the South. This Land Mass had been ‘predicted’ by lots of dead white men previously, and they felt there had to be something to ‘balance’ the large continents north of the Equator. They were right.

But what they couldn’t predict is that the soap opera ‘Neighbours’ would be running for 28 years, or that Australians would decided to combine tight shorts,banians and a lot of physical contact with a rugby-like ball, and call it “Footy”(you could be a tourist and call it “Australian-Rules Football”, but only income-tax collectors, lawyers and communists would do that).

So to cut a long story even longer, Somebody figured out that the Dutch were a bunch of idiots, because they sailed right around Tasmania, without figuring out that it was just off the Southeast tip of Australia, leaving poor Australia undiscovered for a bit.

Ah Australia, home to the kangaroo, the barbecue, big-breasted woman (all of them, somehow…) and beer.

It here that we begin our story. In the next post…because this one has become too long.


A long long time ago..

The Mysterious Disappearance of TTG (Prologue)

(This part of the story is quite old & familiar to most of y’all)

In a blogosphere far, far away

there lived a blogger, going by the name of TTG. He was pretty obscure for the most part. Writing this and that, here and there. He made a few friends, and quite a few enemies. In fact, in his heyday, he made it onto the front page of the Delhi Times, that paragon of journalism.

Ah what heady days those were. Challenging the Compulsive Confessor, arguing (quite nastily) with the Typists, and other such odd adventures.

Eventually, however, the pace of blogging slowed. Why was this? Well, because TTG had got admission, into the Melbourne Business School. So, TTG rejoiced. He could finally leave his job as a 2-bit software engineer for a large Indian IT company, and move on to bigger better things. Hurrah. So TTG promptly quit his job, proceeded to get drunk and stoned every night, ran his beautiful Honda City over a loose stone on the Delhi-Gurgaon border, and lived to tell the tale. He lost the last of his family’s Old Guard, with the passing of his maternal grandmother (may she be having a Gol Gappa with the Great Chaat Bhandaar up there). And he drained his pitiful savings so that on the eve of his journey/yatra to Melbourne, his bank account promptly dropped to Zero.

Oh, and did somebody mention that 20 minutes before boarding the Jet Airways flight to Bombay, (The route was Delhi-Bombay-Sydney-Melbourne) he got an e-mail, from the Indian School of Business – telling him that he had got admission (this was his 3rd try).

Thus, the stage is set, for a not-very-interesting story. But blogs were built so that one may expound. Blogs were especially designed for megalomaniacs. And I am one. So there.

Thus ends the prologue, and we can jump right into the first part.